Nuzlocke Part One
by Arcane-Boomeus
Summary: The Nuzlocke Challenge can be considered a "Hard Mode" of sorts. The player follows a challenging set of rules, due to insanity.  This isn't so much a story as it is a retelling of the events of my challenge run.   It's rated M due to my vulgar language.
1. Part One

**The Nuzlocke Challenge**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon, Game Freak, Nintendo, The Pokémon Company, or any affiliates or what have you. I only own my characters.**

**Rules:**

**1) If it faints, it dies, and must be perma-boxed.  
>2) Only one catch per routearea.  
>2b) If it's a dupe (species) I get two more tries. If those fail...Go to 3<br>3) TOUGH SHIT!  
>4) All of my pogemanz must have nicknames.<br>4a) In case of writers block... Go to 3  
>5) REVIVES ARE FOR PUSSIES.<br>6) If my team is wiped out, it's game over.**

**7) (Thanks to RyanFO117) No over-grinding.  
><strong>

**Part One****: Gary Motherfucking Oak**

Sometimes, even gods can become bored.

When this happens, things tend to become very strange, very quickly.

My name is Boomeus, and I am the god of explosions. I live in both chaos and order, and it was decided that I would not only venture into the world of Pokémon, but that I would follow a set of rules. It was to be a 'challenge' of sorts.

I was to become mortal until my adventure ended, when I beat the Pokémon League.

Of course, all I had to say was, "Challenge accepted."

I thought it would be a relief to be mortal, and a powerful lesson to understand loss.

I couldn't have been any less correct, nor any more wrong.

I awoke, mortal, in the Kanto region, in the upstairs of my home. I immediately went to leave town, only to be stopped by the local Professor, Oak, before stepping into a particularly tall patch of grass.. He told me to follow him. We were jumped by a Pikachu, which he promptly caught. We got to his lab, and his grandson burst in.

Gary. Motherfucking. Oak.

Gary stole the Pokémon that the Professor was planning to give to me, a cute little Eevee.

The Professor gave me the Pikachu he had just caught. He was a feisty little thing, but Gary's Eevee destroyed him. The only thing I had ever called him was "bro."

After that, I woke up in a different time. My challenge, it seemed, would not be completed until I actually completed it. Honestly, I was glad. I didn't want to face my ilk as a total failure.

It took me several moments to realize that I was in the back of a moving truck. Boxes bounced around as it jerked to a stop, and I swore at the driver.

The door slid open, and several Machoke cane in and started removing boxes. My "Mom" came out and ushered me inside, ordering me to set an archaic old clock in my room. I withdrew a potion from the PC and did as I was told, but set it to a random time. It didn't matter to me.

At my mother's suggestion, after missing my father on the television, I walked over to my neighbor's house. There, from the lady of the house, I learned that she had a daughter, May, who was "about my age." How old is an immortal god in mortal form, anyways?

I went upstairs to meet May. She seemed friendly enough, and looked to be anywhere from ten to twelve. After some small talk and her telling me that the local Professor, Birch, was her father, I left.

I went to leave town after learning that Birch was out doing field work, and saw a small child standing on the outskirts of town. By small, I mean young, of course, as it was as wide as it was tall, and I couldn't guess the sex of that thing for my life.

I heard a high-pitched shriek of horror and ran to the rescue the little girl that was screaming bloody murder. I found a fat man being licked by an adorable Poocheyena.

"HELP!" He cried. "THERE'S A POKéMON in my bag!"

Seeing the bag lying on the ground, I reached into it, pulling out three Pokéballs. A Mudkip, a Torchic, and a Treeko. I chose the Treeko, and sent him at the Poocheyena, pounding it into submission. It ran off, whimpering. Birch thanked me, and we walked back to his lab. As thanks for my "rescue," he gave me the Treeko.

"You shall be known as Lucius." I said. And he was.

Birch gave me a Pokédex, and told me that May was out in the field, and that she could give me advice and help me become a better trainer. Or something like that.

Lucius and I went to talk to May, and my Pokédex said that he was level five.

"I want to be at least level ten." He reasoned.

I nodded. "Then we shall train."

And train we did.

By the time I reached May, Lucius was level ten, and already adept with his new Absorb attack, stealing the vital essences from his foes and applying them to himself.

I tapped May on the shoulder to get her attention from the bush she seemed to be studying. "Oh, hi!" She said cheerily. "My dad gave you a Pokémon, didn't he?"

"That he did," I said.

"Would you like to battle me?" She asked.

Lucius nodded, and I replied, "It would be my pleasure."

She sent out a Torchic, which my Pokédex said was level five. Lucius pounded the fiery little bird with his tail, and as May returned it, she said "He's strong. You must be a great trainer."

Lucius seemed pleased with the compliment, and I was as well. "Thanks."

Then, she grabbed my hand. "Let's go back to the lab!" She took off at a sprint, dragging me along behind her. Lucius maintained a smug grin for the entirety of the trip.

At the Lab, Birch congratulated me and May gave me five pokeballs.

As Lucius and I left town, he said, "You like her."

To which I replied, "Better than Gary Motherfucking Oak..."

**END PART ONE**

**See? Now it almost has a plot!**

**-Arcane-Boomeus**


	2. Part Deux

**The Nuzlocke Challenge**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon, Game Freak, Nintendo, The Pokémon Company, or any affiliates or what have you. I only own my characters.**

**Part DEUX: Zigzagoons Are EVIL.**

Before I made it to the path out of town, my "Mom" came running up to me. "These are running shoes. Put them on, and you can run quickly by holding the B button, according to the instruction manual. Also, your Treeko is the cutest damn thing I've ever seen. Including babies and Keyboard Skitty. And never forget, if you're ever in trouble, you can come home."

"Thanks, I suppose." At least I attempted to be polite.

As soon as she had gone, Lucius unleashed his confusion.

"What the fuck? B button?" Lucius was confused as all hell, not understanding that the fourth wall had just been broken. I couldn't really blame him.

"She's probably trippin' balls." I lied, hoping to dodge a bullet.

"AND I AM NOT CUTE!" His eyes seemed to be burning with a fiery rage.

"You're probably even cuter when you're angry."

He shot me a look that told me to shut up before I was dead to him. So I obliged.

I reached the edge of town, and passed over into Route 101. "We've got Pokéballs now. So let's catch a badass new friend!" I sprinted into the grass. A Wurmple jumped out. After an epic battle that involved the move Pound and a carelessly-tossed Pokéball, I had a new Wurmple.

"You shall henceforth be known as..." I blanked. "Let's see... Poisons, bugs, toxic stuff... How about Yersinia?"

The Wurmple looked up at me. "M-may I ask w-why?"

"It's the name of the bacterium that causes the Bubonic Plague! _Yersinia pestis_."

Yersinia recoiled slightly. "Th-that's t-ter...wonderful."

"Isn't it?"

Lucius nudged the dead Zigzagoon with his foot. "Oops. There'll be no catching that."

Yersinia scrabbled over to it. "It s-smelled funny anyways." It sounded like she was trying to reassure herself.

"That it did. It probably had rabies or something."

It wasn't even five minutes before disaster struck. "ZIG ZIGZAGOON! _ZIIIIIIIIG_!" (Translation: I SAW WHAT YOU DID TO MY FRIEND! _BAAAAAANZAAAAAIIIIII_!)

"Yersinia!" I tried to warn her, but the Zigzagoon was already attacking her. Lucius smashed its skull with his Pound attack. But he was too late.

"FUCK!" I shouted.

Lucius looked at Yersinia's corpse with a sigh of sadness and said "We should bury her."

And we did.

Lucius broke the silence. "I hate Zigzagoons."

"Me too..."

"... Hey! That's a Seedot! We can catch him!"

Catch him we did.

This time, I had a name ready. "I'll call you Naginata. Because those things kick serious ass!"

Naginata seemed to like his name. "I like it. Here's your wallet."

I sputtered a response."Wha-how? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE A NINJA?"

"I was biding my time." He replied coolly.

Lucius nodded. "Respect."

I laughed.

After Lucius learned quick attack, we decided on leaving behind the scattered remains of the local Zigzagoon population and entering Petalburg.

I walked over to a small pond, and a little kid asked me what I saw in my reflection. I didn't say anything. He didn't need to know.

I went to leave town, but some kid dragged me to the local gym. I realized that it was the one run by my 'dad'. I told him so, but he didn't care.

I walked into the gym. "Son? Going to be a trainer just like your old man, eh?" He was getting fat, going bald, and he looked to be middle-aged. "I couldn't be more proud, you're handsome just like me and I bet you get all the ladies and-" he was cut off by a frail kid with green hair.

"Can I have a Pokémon?" He asked.

"_Hell_ _yes!_ Take this, and my son, and go catch one!"

I held up a finger in protest. "I didn't know you had another child."

"I don't! Oh, and FYI, you can't battle me until you've gotten four other badges."

I sighed. "Fine."

The kid smiled at me. "I'm Wally! What's your name?"

I shot him a sideways glance. Nobody had asked me what my name was. So I did the logical thing. "Yup."

He stopped. "Wait, what?"

"Look," I shouted. "A Ralts!"

He whipped around and tossed a Pokéball into the grass. There was a flash of red, and the Pokéball rolled out, rocked three times, and returned to normal. "Thanks, guy!"

I was too busy being awestruck to reply. Lucius said, "No problem, young one."

Wally ran off, and I turned to Lucius and Naginata.

"Let's go catch some Pokémon."

I sent Naginata running into a patch of tall grass, and caught the Wingull that flew out.

"Any ideas for names, guys?"

"How about Holly?" Suggested Lucius.

"I'd like to be called Abby, if you don't mind."

I shrugged. "I can dig it."

"We've only got one female on the team, and she's already telling us what to do..." Naginata said with a laugh.

"INDEED," I said.

We came across a rich kid shortly thereafter. He was adamant that he was a great trainer, but he only had a Zigzagoon. Abby knocked it out with a couple of Water Gun attacks. He paid out the ass. Then, I caught a Taillow and named him Jango. Jango likes pooping on people.

During some training, after Jango's Shroomish-induced nap, I came across a strange man in a green suit. From the way he ran towards me when he saw me, I assumed that he was a trainer. You know what they say about assuming...

"HEY! KID!" He shouted, stopping inches from my face. "-"

I held up a hand. "Actually, yeah, I saw a couple of Shroomish back there. Around that last bend." I didn't tell him that my Pokémon had either killed or maimed them. Mainly because he creeped me out.

That was the precise moment that the weirder guy in all red came running towards me. He shouted something about wanting "Devon's Goods," and it all went downhill from there.

The Shroomish guy took cover -behind me- and the guy in red released an angry-looking Poochyena. Lucius' Absorb resolved the issue. "What? I lost?" He didn't seem to understand the concept of losing.

Then he demanded that I battle him again. Apparently he didn't understand the concept of having no Pokémon able to battle, either. He ran off, shouting something along the lines of "You'll regret meddling in the affairs of Team Magma!"

Shroomish guy chased off after him. He said something about Rustboro. Naginata gave me a Great Ball. "For our time."

I was slightly concerned by this. "I'm not sure whether to look forward to, or dread the day you evolve and get hands..."

"I will be a GOD."

**END Part DEUX**


End file.
